life

A collection of 33 posts

25 Years Rocketing with the Smashing Pumpkins

music 3 min read 25 Years Rocketing with the Smashing Pumpkins

After a fuzzy, daydreamy guitar intro, Billy Corgan belts out the word Love. That's how a twenty-five year journey begins.

There I was, steering my parents' car through the empty streets of Ottawa, Illinois in the summer of 1994. The windows were open, hot sun heating the dashboard, and that daydreamy guitar intro to the song Rocket began playing on the radio. For some reason, I cranked up the volume.

Soon, I’ll find myself alone / To relax and fade away

Of course, I had known of the Pumpkins before that day.

I turned nineteen years old that summer. I

Comparing Privilege to a Video Game

politics 4 min read Comparing Privilege to a Video Game

For a long time, I struggled to understand white privilege. I'm not proud to admit it. I made the usual arguments: My life has been difficult; I've worked my ass off for everything I've achieved; I've given up time with family and ignored my friends to be successful; I've suffered significant pain and loss in life but focused and pushed forward and earned all the rewards I've attained. How can you tell me I've had it easy?

Obviously, I didn't get it.

I suspect most people who disregard the idea of privilege (or white male privilege to be more specific)

Experimenting

life 3 min read Experimenting

Now that my plan to blog once a week seems to be out the door, I thought it was time to experiment with something new.

Of course, I don't yet know what that something new should be. And I'm not exactly brimming with free time to experiment. I've been contemplating a site rebrand for a while, but I haven't had time to plan it out. This magazine layout style puts too much emphasis on each individual post. I tend to feel, because of the layout, each post needs to be lengthy and insightful, but sometimes I just want to write

New Ramblings for a New Year

news 5 min read New Ramblings for a New Year

A new year begins. A new slate of goals, hopes, promises. An inevitable slew of mistakes, failures, and heartbreaks. I’m in my 40s now. The routine is almost ritual.

And so we begin the search for meaning, the introspective pursuit of purpose. Or maybe just the drive to continue.

As 2018 begins, I’m not unhappy with my life or the choices I’ve made. I’ve had setbacks as well as opportunity. I’ve had privilege. I’ve had pain. I’ve been held back, at times, by circumstance but also by a reluctance to change. In such

The Songs We Lose

love 2 min read The Songs We Lose

If I could sing, I’d sing a song for lost songs.

I’d build a room of tunes and wallpaper it with every song we’ve ever shared with those we’ve loved, and I’d sing in it. I’d sing of pain and misery, of beautiful moments and intimate memories. I’d sing of happiness and laughter, of heartbreak and tears, but mostly I’d sing of loss.

We lose so much with love. Our futures, of course. And our hearts. Sometimes our minds and memories.

But must love take our songs as well? That’s just

Otherwise Optimistically Occupied

news 2 min read Otherwise Optimistically Occupied

Oh. Hello. Who are you? Have we met? I’m Kevin. Once upon a time, I tried to write here regularly. I failed. Now I’m curious why you’re still here?

To be fair, long gaps in my journaling/blogging/writing history are frequent. In some cases, the gaps have been without excuse. In other cases, the only legitimate excuse was laziness.

This most recent gap, however, possesses what I believe to be an unflimsical explanation:

I’ve been busy. But not normal busy.  For real busy. Productive busy. Gettin’ shit done busy.

As I mentioned previously, I spent

To Osten Ard Again with Tad Williams

books 10 min read To Osten Ard Again with Tad Williams

On this day of days there is a familiar stirring deep inside the dozing heart of the fantasy world. The realm of Osten Ard comes alive again with the release of Tad Williams’ The Heart of What Was Lost.

For some of us, it’s a day we never expected. For all of us, it is a day to celebrate, a day to explore, and a day to lose ourselves in the beauty and tragedy and horror and history of one of the most beloved lands in fantastical literature.

Discovery

I first discovered Osten Ard in the summer of 1991.

Goodbye, Hello

life 3 min read Goodbye, Hello

2016 arrived brimming with possibility. Changes were afoot. Love was blooming. The career was stable. As a result, my creativity soared, and I had lofty aspirations for the new year.

Given so much promise, I see no way to describe the results as anything other than tragically disappointing.

There were highlights, of course.  I visited friends in San Francisco. I attended a few concerts. My daughters are healthy and succeeding in all their endeavors. I traveled with them to New York City to see the musical Hamilton before the original cast departed. We ate breakfast at a diner and skirted